"Life is like a railroad track". I've heard that before. Stay on the tracks set before you and you'll experience true freedom. I thank God for the tracks set before me....tracks set before my birth. I pray I allow God to continue being my engineer. I am prone to jumping the tracks when I take over.
I'd be lying if I said my train ride has been all roses the past while. I am glad God's got the controls, cause this ride scares me from time to time. Just being honest. The last year has had a few tunnels. Okay, more than a few. And....God, my engineer, has kept my train on its tracks, only He's chosen to dim the brightness; illuminating only the necessary. And...I don't know where this train's headed. God does....but I don't. And for being a planner, this is hard. God has continued throughout this time to shine just enough light to keep us going forward...but not much more.
I am sitting alone in my living room. The house quiet. I crave the quiet, though I thank God for every minute of chaos within these walls. Chaos is life....and if its kids, puppies, home school books and all related activities I would feel lost without them. But in these times of quiet, reflection is so much easier. I need God. He is my Provider. My Creator. And He loves me. He loves my husband. He created my kids and loves them more than I ever could. Letting go of plans....that's what He's asking of me.... to trust Him with the plans. Trust Him with our future. Trust Him with our children. Trust Him with our finances. Trust Him to provide....everything. He's calling us to trust Him. Let go........
We are moving from our home....yet again. And....not unlike last year, we're still unaware of where we're going. We rented a beautiful home our first year here, and its now being sold. So....we must find a new home. I know God has plans. We've been looking, and its that one thing God's been reiterating over and over: trust. Trust Him. Letting go, and allowing Him control this. New jobs, new roles, new homes, new towns.....nothing is new to Him. This move won't be as big as our last. We're staying in the area. Its just finding somewhere to hang our hat....again. It's packing up those boxes that are still partially packed in the garage. It's changing the address...again. I feel a little weary.
But, my Lord and Savior is good. He is Love...and He never changes. He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow and He said He loves me. Why should I find it hard to trust that? You're right, I shouldn't. Surrender. Surrender of plans to the Master Planner. I am loved by the Master Planner. He designed me before the world began. He designed my amazing husband and gave us the marriage we have. He designed the "littles" that grace our home and expertly planned their entrances and personalities. There is no chance or coincidence to the awesomeness of His designs. If He's willing to plan and care for the smallest of cool things, why would he neglect the "big"? He sent His Son to die for me.....in my place. I have NO reason to doubt His love for me. So.....
Trust. That's what I give you tonight God. God, please help me lay it in your hands. I want to trust you. Take my concerns, my worries and allow me to trust. You are God....and I am but your child. A child that you love.
One moment at a time....through the train tunnels of North Idaho. And though its difficult, I wouldn't trade this. Thank you God.
Blessings Tonight.
Much Love,
Candis
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